Halfway through May, we got a phone call from my Father and Marie. We had a new sister, Beth, in addition to our brother John, who was about 2; we had never met him although they sent us pictures from time to time. They had moved to Twin Falls in southern Idaho and wondered if we would like to come down for a visit. Sarah and I did want to visit. We were excited to meet our new brother and sister, and we wondered if our Dad (our real Dad!) would notice any change in us. Eliyah drove us to get us on a Sabbath. Mom insisted that we finish the Sabbath service before we went to meet him for the drive back down to Twin Falls, and it seemed to me as though the songs dragged on endlessly and that the longest possible scripture passages had been chosen.

As always, our Father was pretty quiet. I had surreptitiously brought my contacts with me- I didn't throw mine away when Mom said our eyes would be healed- and wore them now. The world was beautiful! The drive seemed to take a long time, but finally, after dark, we saw the twinkling lights of Twin Falls below us as we wound our way towards their home. We had a good visit. John was a really cute little boy and I helped dress him every morning. I had always enjoyed toddlers more than babies; Elizabeth was a beautiful sister, but she was so tiny, so frail, with all those veins under her pale, transluscent skin. I was terrified of her fragility, and she seemed to be in a lot of pain all the time, like she was colicky. Babies were certainly delicate, and I had no idea how to soothe or help with her, so I tended to John, who at least was able to talk and interact more.

We weren't supposed to attend my Father's church where he was organist, where he led bible studies. I don't remember if we did or not. If we did, we were breaking one of the conditions Mom had laid upon us prior to the visit: we were not to set foot in any "Temple of Baal". They took us swimming, where I lost one of my contact lenses, to play miniature golf, and to eat at a Mexican restaurant. Except for the last time my Father and Uncle Charlie had visited us, we hadn't been to a restaurant since the drive up to Idaho. All too soon, it was time to go home.

And what a welcome we got when we arrived there; Mom was livid with us for betraying her by going to visit our father. One day, while Dad was gone, she really came unglued. She started screaming that Sarah and I were just like our father, just as cold-hearted, and all sorts of other things. She said we didn't love her, and all sorts of other horrible things. Then she got the .45 gun that Mark had lent Dad and said she was going to kill herself. Sarah and I cowered in the small jack pines behind the house, terrified, confused, and unsure of what to do. Mom was waving the gun aroun din the air wildly like a madwoman and screaming guilt trips out to us as she marched off towards the swamp. Raphah and Rachel ran after her sobbing, begging her not to do it. Sarah and I weren't sure what to do. She didn't seem sane, and she had a loaded gun in her hand, and she didn't seem to care where it pointed. Her behavior was even more irrational than anything we'd ever seen before. Would she shoot us if we ran after her? We didn't know. Just then, we heard a single gunshot. We looked at one another, horrified. Silence seemed to stretch on forever. Raphah's voice:

"Mom, that's stupid! That's not the safety!"

Mom's: "Ow, ow, my ear! It went off right by my ear!"

Apparently, she'd been fiddling with the safety mechanism and somehow managed to pull the trigger without harming herself. Raphah and Rachel came back with her from the swamp. Later, she said that she'd never intended to actually kill herself. It had all been a test to see which of her chidlren really loved her, and Sarah and I had failed the test.