I kept hoping that I'd hear from Daniel, but day after day there was no word from him; not even a note. So I continued formulating plans for building a tiny little cabin on the part of the land I'd chosen. I was planning to grow everything I would need, and not to use anything I couldn't produce. The goats presented a problem, because I knew that I'd have to breed them in order to get milk, but I didn't know what to do with the buck kids, since I didn't eat meat anymore. Coming up with oil was another major issue, because goat milk is naturally homogenized; making butter from it is difficult unless you have a cream separator. But what really bothered me was that I wanted a child, and I had no idea how to get one without Daniel in the picture. I wanted a child so badly that it was almost an ache in me....but of course, I would have to have my little farm up and running and producing reliably first. Of course, I could just go and find some guy somewhere and hope I got pregnant, but the thought of being with anyone except for Daniel repulsed me. Besides, I didn't want to have to deal with a man in my life. I just wanted a baby.

Meanwhile, ironically enough, Eliyah was pestering me constantly, and his advances had taken a new turn: he wanted me to have a baby with him. He claimed that aliens had come and altered his genitals and genetics in such a way that he had something other men didn't, and that his genes would make exceptional children. I didn't care if his kids were geniuses, the thought of having sex with him or bearing his child was so far out of the question that I would rather die than to do either. The situation had gotten so far out of hand that he would grope me as I walked by and say that with his big balls and my big boobs, we'd make beautiful children. He said this kind of thing even when my mother was around, with apparent impunity.

The pressure to relinquish myself to him was constant and unrelenting. He would ask me now to rub his back lower, to massage his inner things higher, to rub his butt. And then one day, when he was going on and on about the aliens giving him something special in his family jewels, he put my hand there. I took my hand away as quickly as if I'd touched fire. I had no idea what male genitals were supposed to feel like anyway! How did he think I'd know the difference? I realized then that he wasn't going to stop until he got to me. He apparently wasn't desperate enough to force me yet, but I began to think it was only a matter of time before he did.

I'd already told my mother. At first she made a show of concern. She even came into his bedroom (they were sleeping separately now) caught him clasping me next to his body, and said, "Don't think I don't know what you're doing", shook her finger at him, and walked out of the room. I couldn't believe it. Obviously, Mom wasn't going to be much help here. I was going to have to handle this myself. If he managed to get to me, I would have to kill myself. That sounds extreme, but I had already lost just about everything I'd been living for.

I decided that there was only one way out. I would have to marry. Mom wouldn't let me leave the property unless I married, because of a prophecy she'd received. If I couldn't have Daniel, I didn't care who I got. All the rest of mankind was pretty much generic. If I could find a guy that I had a least a few things in common with, that would be nice, but really, the first man who wanted me, I would marry. Perhaps in time, I would be able to grow to love him.