That night, I had a dream that Daniel was sick with some horrible disease. His friends and community all got together to raise money to help him, and he was hoping for a cure, but he died anyway. I stood at the funeral; it was at a big red barn. Mom had some interpretation that assured me that the dream meant he was dying to sin, that it wasn't to be taken literally. Even so, the dream bothered me...
When Dad returned in the morning from his paper route, he was furious with me. Daniel had told him everything. Dad said I should have asked his permission first before accepting, and that Daniel should have asked him before proposing to me. The way I saw it, it wasn't Dad's choice. It was mine, and only mine, to make, regardless of ponies, blankets, or rifles. Besides, I didn't trust Dad to be objective enough about the situation to be fair, since he clearly had his own desires for me.
Mom's perspective quickly changed in the face of Dad's anger. Daniel must be perfected before I could marry him. I still had no idea what perfection was, and no intention at all of insisting on it for Daniel as a condition of marriage. Then they said he was an Adventist, his beliefs weren't the same as ours, and he'd have to convert. I didn't care. He used the sacred names around me, and I didn't care much past that. Worst of all, they said that they wanted Daniel and I to live near them or under their roof! No!!! I knew without a doubt that that would spoil things for sure!
Dad said that in the course of the long, intense conversation, new information about Daniel had been unearthed. He'd been to jail for falling behind on child support for his two small children from his first marriage. That marriage had ended with him hitting his first wife, and he'd gone to jail for that, too. He'd also been to prison for growing pot. Apparently his partner in the venture narced on him in exchange for dropped charges and kept all the proceeds while he went to prison and got raped. Dad wanted him to get an AIDs test and show him the results. Also, Daniel had gotten angry at Dad and yelled back at him, so clearly he had anger management issues.
The joy within me paled in the face of all this strife, but I was still committed. I would not back down, and Dad was incensed with us both.
When Dad returned in the morning from his paper route, he was furious with me. Daniel had told him everything. Dad said I should have asked his permission first before accepting, and that Daniel should have asked him before proposing to me. The way I saw it, it wasn't Dad's choice. It was mine, and only mine, to make, regardless of ponies, blankets, or rifles. Besides, I didn't trust Dad to be objective enough about the situation to be fair, since he clearly had his own desires for me.
Mom's perspective quickly changed in the face of Dad's anger. Daniel must be perfected before I could marry him. I still had no idea what perfection was, and no intention at all of insisting on it for Daniel as a condition of marriage. Then they said he was an Adventist, his beliefs weren't the same as ours, and he'd have to convert. I didn't care. He used the sacred names around me, and I didn't care much past that. Worst of all, they said that they wanted Daniel and I to live near them or under their roof! No!!! I knew without a doubt that that would spoil things for sure!
Dad said that in the course of the long, intense conversation, new information about Daniel had been unearthed. He'd been to jail for falling behind on child support for his two small children from his first marriage. That marriage had ended with him hitting his first wife, and he'd gone to jail for that, too. He'd also been to prison for growing pot. Apparently his partner in the venture narced on him in exchange for dropped charges and kept all the proceeds while he went to prison and got raped. Dad wanted him to get an AIDs test and show him the results. Also, Daniel had gotten angry at Dad and yelled back at him, so clearly he had anger management issues.
The joy within me paled in the face of all this strife, but I was still committed. I would not back down, and Dad was incensed with us both.
posted by chamoisee at
4:08 PM
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