For the next several days I called Daniel's neighbor (Daniel had no phone or other utilities) obsessively, leaving messages to have Daniel call me. I knew that if I allowed it, Mom and Eliyah would be happy to let their promise to resolve thing with Daniel fall by the wayside. I had to contact him and get this straightened out. He didn't call back, and I thought I would go crazy with anxiety and worry. I pestered Mom and Dad even more insistently until they finally drove over to his place. I wanted to go with, but they said that they needed to straighten things out with him themselves. I paced the house restlessly, unable to think of anything else.

They returned. They said Daniel wasn't angry at them. I couldn't understand this and wondered what on earth they had told him. He was well, he was doing fine. He'd tried to remember what he'd written to me in the letters that Mom had conveniently "lost", but hadn't really been able to. The date was set, and he'd be coming over in a few days. A few days. Good grief...how on earth was I supposed to wait any longer? I knew now how much could change in just a few days.

I don't remember what I wore for the afternoon when Daniel came back. I know that I was self conscious about my scalp; it was still picked to bloody bits that could be seen even under my long, thick head of hair. Chris and Jaylene had never asked me about it. I waited and waited and waited and waited. Finally, a big old yellow Chevrolet pickup truck, the really old fashioned kind, an antique really, drove up with a round bale of hay. I was surprised to see him driving, but I ran over from the field where I'd been waiting. The goats, running loose that day, flocked after me, and soon he was surrounded by dogs, goats, and my siblings and I. It was strange to see him after waiting so long. Had he always been so short? Not that I cared, I didn't...but it's funny how people can look slightly different when you haven't seen them for a year or more. I'd dreamed countless times of running into his open arms, but now that he was actually here, there was a strange reserve between us. I was terrified inside and afraid to show it. I didn't know if he would still want me. He hadn't said anything to Mom and Eliyah one way or the other, only that he would come and talk to me. Maybe he'd changed his mind. I couldn't be sure, and I didn't know what I'd do if I was rejected by him all over again, this time in person.

He followed along as I did my chores, met my goats, which I proudly showed off to him. He didn't seem very impressed with Lily's production, which was only a pint and a half a day compared to Sannah's three quarts a day. It was decent production considering their small size, that they were yearlings, and also that they were still each nursing a kid which took some of the milk. I tried to tell him that Lily made up for it with her personality, but he just frowned. How could I tell him that she had virtually saved my life and certainly my sanity? Would he even care?

He asked me why I'd run away. I hadn't expected this question. How could I put into a few simple words the amount of pain I'd been in? How could I convey what they'd done to me? Wasn't it obvious? Things were still awkward between us. It wasn't a good time to broach the subject of what Dad was doing to me every night. I thought. Finally I told him that I had decided that if I couldn't be a farmer's wife, then I would be a farm hand instead, which was pretty much the truth, but left out all the gory details. Daniel had never really relished gory details anyway; he was sort of an idealist who liked to look on the bright side, even if the silver lining was sliver thin.

Right about then, Fox had gotten loose and Rachel or Raphah hollered for help. Daniel took off to help them. I considered following, but that might seem desperate. Besides, I still had Sannah to milk, and she was craning her neck eagerly over the side of the goat pen, licking her lips in anticipation of the grain she would get.

When he came into the house, I showed him the letter, the fake letter. He read it and laughed, actually laughed! He said it was nicer than anything he would have been able to write. I had no idea how to take that. And how could he find that letter funny? It had very nearly destroyed me!

After dinner, Dad went to bed and we gathered in the living room. Daniel didn't sit next to me as he always had, seating himself in a kitchen chair across from me several feet away instead. My senses were on hypervigilant mode, sensitive to even the tiniest signs of rejection, and although I still harbored a flame of hope, it didn't look very promising. After an hour or two of chatting he mentioned the bible passage where if a daughter makes a vow and her father finds out about it before sundown, he can negate it. He said that since Eliyah had disagreed with my promise to marry him, I was not under that vow any longer. I could have pointed out that Dad found out about it long after sundown, and I felt like saying that Eliyah wasn't my real father, so that verse didn't even apply, but i had very little input in the conversation. Mostly I just sat there and had to accept whatever he decided, regardless of my own feelings. Then he said that thought it would be best if we started out as friends again and we could see where that went. I knew what that meant, but I tried hard to look cheerful and optimistic. I mean, compared to him being married to some woman named Linda who was expecting his child, it was still an improvement. He also asked me to promise not to run away again. I would have promised him just about anything, so I readily agreed. Then he left, without even giving me a hug. In fact, he hadn't so much as held my hand all day. The whole time, he'd behaved as though he was stepping very carefully around me, like this was an extremely delicate situation. Something was wrong. I could feel it in the air. I watched him leave, not reluctantly as he always had, but as though he were relieved to be going. The old yellow truck pulled out of the drive.